Of all the people I talk to about Rugby League through my web site, forums, Twitter and just general people I know and meet, not a single one of them views the RL Worlds Golden Boot award as anything other than a joke and a complete farce.
From the mythical list of “International Journalists”, none of whom seem to be from Australia, to the side splitting awards they have handed out, its just a crack up of the highest order.
Will we ever get another gold standard for gullibility, stupidity and ignorance than this award gave us when they handed it to Andrew Farrell who, at the time, wasn’t even the best forward at Wigan, let alone in Super League, let alone in the world!
These are the same people that told us Stuart Fielden was better than Shane Webcke, or that Stacey Jones was better than Andrew Johns.
You could use so many words to describe these suggestions but at the end of the day simple terms like dumb, idiotic and moronic are way too effective in describing the selections that are made.
So what I thought I’d do is try and predict where they would go this year with their awards. I’d a did a whole lot of drugs, took repeated blows to the head, had some of what Terry Newton was doing, and then attended Joel Monaghans mad Monday party. What stupid awards could I possibly give out and then try and pass it off as being selected by an “international panel of rugby league journalists”?
This is what I came up with…..Spot…..put that down!
Golden Boot: Benji Marshall
This ones easy. Any chance to not give this award to an Australian, they will be right on it! Of course, Marshall will get this award for his game in the final of the Four Nations, not on the back of anything he did during the regular season.
Fullback: Sam Tomkins
Here is my thinking. They hate Billy Slater, and based on one mistake in the Four Nations final, they will tell you he is crap. Jarryd Hayne will probably get a mention just on last years 8 game run of hype alone! Lance Hohaia, he is probably in with a huge shot, but I think they will settle on Tomkins because the sun shines out of wonder boys arse, just as long as he is playing in a top side that is beating everyone else in a third rate English competition.
Winger: Pat Richards
Any chance to take the rigid shaft of Super League and stroke it with a swiftness that only Pommy hacks could manage, Richards never played a game for New South Wales, let alone Australia, but they will pretend you can not find a better winger anywhere in the world.
Center: Shaun Kenny-Dowall
He’s not an Australian, and the Pommy hacks didn’t get to see Greg Inglis play test football this year, so he basically doesn’t exist in their minds.
Five-Eight: Benji Marshall
If you asked the people that vote for him what club he plays for in Australia, I bet some of them would say the New Zealand Warriors or Balmain Tigers.
Halfback: Jonathan Thurston
Thurston had probably the worst year of his career. I don’t think they will want to give it to Cooper Cronk, and most of the Pommy hacks probably don’t even know who Scott Prince is! Don’t be surprised if Nathan Fien wins it though. He isn’t Australian (Even though he is Australian) and sure, he hasn’t played much football this year and only the tests as a halfback, but they will say these awards only take into account test football…..even though in the past they have said otherwise when trying to defend these stupid awards.
Hooker: Issac Luke
He’s not Australian, and sure, he didn’t crack it for a start for New Zealand, but I think they would much rather give it to him than say Cameron Smith or Robbie Farah!
Prop: James Graham
Forgetting that he got completely dominated by every single one of the opposition forwards he faced, NZ Maori, New Zealand Kiwi’s, Australia and PNG, and that he wasn’t even the best prop for St Helens this year, he will farcically be named the best prop in the world because the people that name these awards are ignorant.
Second Rower: Gareth Ellis
The widest running forward in the history of the game, Ellis is over hyped by Australians, so the Pommy hacks think the bloke walks on water. Its a shame because he is a really down to Earth bloke who doesn’t give two stuffs about the ego and hype that drives the British game. By the way, he makes Steve Menzies look like a hit up specialists!
Lock: Sam Burgess
You think the fact he only wears the 13 jersey a few times a year will be an issue? Wow, you’re an idiot! I mean, isn’t it obvious that all the of the best forwards in the world are English. As Dave Woods would say, sure they got humiliated, once again, but they sure did crack some bones!
I don’t know if they name a “Rookie Of The Year” but you could expect it to be any player in the game under the age of 28. In fact, I bet some of the players considered would qualify for the NRL salary discounts for long serving players!
Coach of the year will probably be Michael McGuire. After all, he is in Super League, and we all know that’s where its all happening, right? Then again I wouldn’t be shocked if Brian Noble edged him out. Its not every year you can coach a team to a losing record, send the club broke, walk out of the place and still have people saying you did a good job!
The only thing I couldn’t work out was how they were going to award James Roby for scrambling back to St Helens and signing a FOUR YEAR contract with the Saints, a year before his current contract runs out, and therefor avoiding the horrific scenario where he plays against the worlds best in the NRL.
I have to say, that was a close shave. I hope they erect a statue of him outside St Helens new ground so that people who visit from outside the area can ask “Who is the skinny guy who’s statue is next to the morbidly obese woman with the massive rack?”.
So that should about wrap it up.
Of course, when you want to know about the game of Rugby League, you ask the Poms. They have been so successful for so many years, for generation after generation they have set the tone for the entire game.