You Be The Coach And I’ll Play The Cricket

There are some really cool things about being a grown up. You get to eat what you want, you get to go to bed late, and you don’t have any homework that you need to hand in to avoid getting in trouble. That is, unless you play Cricket for Australia!

Now lets look past Australia’s on field performances over the last 18 months. Lets look past the way Cricket Australia’s administration has managed to decimate the countries depth. lets look past the ridiculous rotation policy or the fact that our once proud Test team is now a jumble of players that I doubt anyone would reliably name from 1-11 these days.

Lets look past the fact that Australia is coached by a South African, or that the rest of the world is openly making fun of our national teams performances.

As someone that is about the same age as most of these Australian players I feel think I can relate to their reaction at being required to do homework…

After being completely humiliated on the field once again, if someone had handed me a questionaire asking me what was going wrong, I would have been sacked if I’d have handed it in anyway. My report would hhave had all sorts of potential comments on it:

“They scored more runs than we did”

“I don’t like Michael Clarke”

“I had some takeout when we arrived and since then I’ve been needing to shit every five minutes”

“Ask Shane Warne”

“I’m Bi Polar”

“Every time I hear the coaches South African accent I feel like I’m playing for England, that drives my failure”

“Who cares because I’ll be making $1.2 million when the IPL gets under way”

“It could be worse, we could be the Cronulla Sharks”

Really, if the coaching staff can’t work it out for themselves, what are they there for? Under Mickey Arthur, the Australian team has got worse. Maybe he needs to fill out some homework on why he thinks that is! Until then, maybe Cricket Australia should stop trying to be so cute and just go out and pick our 11 best players and see how they go. No rotation policy, no worrying about injuries and who doesn’t like who. Not worrying about who is an alrounder and who isn’t, just go out and play some fucking cricket!

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