Daniel Gordon – A Fun 2017 NRL Season Preview

Mar 02, 2017 League Freak Featured Guest Writers 0

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This is an NRL Season Preview like NO other… It is a very light hearted look at the season ahead. So much so…. For every prediction I get right (16 club position predictions, 48 individual team predictions) I will give $10 to my local volunteer fire brigade, and the bigger more out there predictions I will give $20 (marked with a #). O and in case, you are wondering where that is… Paihia in New Zealand!
So here we go….

1 CANBERRA
Why They Will Win: Settled lineup and an exciting back line.
Why They Won’t Win: Won’t fly under the radar this season. Teams may work out how to play them.
Three Predictions:
-Josh Hodgson wins Dally M Hooker of the Year
-Jarrod Crocker beats Barry Eaton’s world record of 38 successful goal kicks in a row. He does it in….
-Round 12 the Raiders beat the Roosters 2-0 at GIO Stadium with a snow storm nearly stopping the game. The game is titled ‘The Worst Game of League of all Time’. Crocker’s penalty four minutes from time stops the game from being a 0-0 draw (#)

2 GOLD COAST
Why They Will Win: X Factor and a brilliant coach
Why They Won’t Win: Missed 33 tackles a game last season. Is that a weakness?
Three Predictions:
-Jarryd Hayne plays Origin (on the wing)
-Neil Henry wins Dally M Coach of the Year
-Jarryd Hayne breaks the most run metres in an NRL game in Round 11 against Manly. He then says he has a dream to run at the Olympics. (#)

3 COWBOYS
Why They Will Win: JT2
Why They Won’t Win: Have lost a lot of metre eaters (Tamou, Kostjasyn and Hannant)
Three Predictions:
JT2 will become a thing!
JT will lead Queensland to State of Origin glory AGAIN!
JT (the other one) wins the Dally M (on his own) (#)

4 PENRITH
Why They Will Win: Points in them, offloads and excitement all over the park.
Why They Won’t Win: Are the halves too young? Second year syndrome?
Three Predictions:
‘I Can Cleary Now the Rein Has Gone’ will be splashed on the back pages at some point as Cleary and Rein combine to win a game at some point of the season (#)
Trent Merrin will play all three State of Origin Games
Viliame Kikau will play first grade this season and become a cult hero at the foot of the mountains

5 ROOSTERS
Why They Will Win: Quality spine and it’s the Chinese year of the Rooster.
Why They Won’t Win: No one outside of Bondi wants them to.
Three Predictions:
Michael Gordon will be the ‘Buy of the Year’
Paul Carter will show his potential and becomes a key player off the bench for the Roosters
lose ‘The Worse Game of League Ever Played’ 2-0 Guerra and JWD drop the ball eight times each and make 120+ tackles as Canberra literally can’t find the try line (#)

6 SHARKS
Why They Will Win: They did it last year and defence wins games!
Why They Won’t Win: Missing half of their spine.
Three Predictions:
Tony Williams will be a flop
lose six of their first eight to sit well outside of the eight before coming good.
James Maloney will set a record for F bombs in an after match interview (13) after the Sharks lose 10-12 to the Titans in Round 8 (#)

7 STORM
Why They Will Win: Slater, Cronk and Smith. Three of the best ever.
Why They Won’t Win: Proctor will be tough to replace. Where will the metres come from?
Three Predictions: Cameron Smith will be talked about as an Immortal AGAIN!
Craig Bellamy will walk out of two press conferences in a row (around Origin time) prompting one betting agency to run a book on whether he will do it again. He does when the Sharks over run the Storm in Week One of the Finals. (#)
Josh Addo Carr will be in the top five try scorers (regular season)

8 EELS
Why They Will Win: Faced adversity last season, so having no off field issues this season should be welcomed.
Why They Won’t Win: No team wins the comp from 8th
Three Predictions:
Bevan French wins Dally M Winger of the Year.
Nathan Brown plays Origin
The Eels beat the Bunnies 26-20 in Round 26, scraping into the eight on points difference. This after leading 24-0 at the break (#)

9 WARRIORS
Why They Will Win: They have a Kiwis spine!
Why They Won’t Win: The pack doesn’t have enough metres in them
Three Predictions:
Will record the comps, biggest win and loss in 2017. (#)
RTS wins Best Fullback at the Dally M’s
Following a slow start to 2017 the following things will be brought up.
Bro Culture Whats McFadden doing there?
Manu’s a liability Need more Aussies in the team

10 BRISBANE
Why They Will Win: Wayne Bennett and they don’t play Sunday or Monday in the first 20 Rounds!
Why They Won’t Win: Darius Boys is the captain!
Three Predictions:
Jai Arrow plays State of Origin
Are in the eight before Origin starts
Benji Marshall kicks a winning field goal in the Round 24 win over the Dragons. After trailing 20-0 at half time, Marshall leads Brisbane to a 21-20 win, keeping the finals hopes alive. (#)

11 SOUTHS
Why They Will Win: GI, Sam Burgess and Robbie Farah are all superstars.
Why They Won’t Win: 14th in metres gained last season, outside of Burgess where will the metres come from?
Three Predictions:
Will have the best record against top eight sides for teams not in the top eight (follow?) (#)
GI will play anywhere but Redfern in 2018
Michael Maguire will take a job back in the UK at seasons end (assuming he isn’t sacked sooner)

12 MANLY
Why They Will Win: Trbojevic, Walker and DCE are match winners
Why They Won’t Win: Trent Barrett is the coach
Three Predictions:
DCE makes TWO line breaks in one game, doubling what he did last season. (#)
Dylan Walker becomes one of the best centres AGAIN!
Tom Trbojevic joins Tedesco, Hayne and 300 other fullbacks in the Origin team.

13 BULLDOGS
Why They Will Win: On paper they have a very strong side
Why They Won’t Win: The Panthers set the blueprint on how to beat the Dogs in the finals. Expect teams to follow that blueprint.
Three Predictions:
Will Hopoate not playing Sundays will be brought up again! (the Dogs play four of their first 18 games on a Sunday, the Broncos play 0)
Des Hasler is sacked before Round 12
Someone will find out how/what Sam Kasiano did to lose all of that weight and make billions (anyone has the recipe send it to me!) (#)

14 TIGERS
Why They Will Win: Tedesco and Aaron Woods!
Why They Won’t Win: Jason Taylor and a light pack on metres
Three Predictions:
Tedesco will join Moylan, Hayne, Trbojevic and fullback, come centre Dugan in the NSW Origin side
Will go thru the most players in 2017 (34) (#)
Jamal Idris will go AWOL after making 32 metres and dropping the ball seven times in Round 25 vs the Cowboys

15 DRAGONS
Why They Will Win: Scrapping the barrel. Josh Dugan!
Why They Won’t Win: outside of Dugan and Frizzell what Dragon player gets near your fantasy team?
Three Predictions:
Russell Packer pees on the field again (ala Brisbane in the rain) (#)
Josh Dugan plays Origin at centre
Tyson Frizzell is crowned Second Rower of the Year at the Dally M’s and finishes top five in overall standings

16 NEWCASTLE
Why They Will Win: If Leicester at 5000-1 can then….
Why They Won’t Win: Nathan Brown, last in kick return metres, line breaks, metres gained in 2016 (nrl.com)
Three Predictions:
Dane Gagai cries again
Will have beaten one of the GF teams
Win three in a row (Round 16-18 Dragons, Tigers Dogs)

Thanks for reading… I will post an end of season review with the final amount I have given to the Paihia Volunteer Fire Brigade. To follow me, I have a facebook page ‘Ordinary Decent Person’ I have no idea what will be posted next!

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• Daniel Gordon, Guest Writer

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