So here we are again, back to Old Trafford to completely fuck up Manchester Uniteds FA Cup run!
Some years it is hard to chose who is going to win the Grand Final, and this is one of those years.
On one side you have the Leeds Rhinos, a team that looks completely busted. They are out of form, they are not all that good, they are bloody boring to watch, and they will probably win it.
On the other side you have the Warrington Wolves, a team that has turned choking into an art form and one followed by a bunch off off their face cunts from one of northern Englands truely forgettable shitholes.
This is going to be a really special one….
Outside of something very large falling on the stadium and crushing everyone within, I’m not sure what I want to happen. Maybe he can strap Keiron Cunningham to the belly of a Boeing CH-47 Chinook and get it to hover over the stadium. We can drop him just as Lee Briers is kicking his 5th field goal. We can watch in horror as the last thing 70,000 fans see are two giant sweaty man boobs.
For Australian’s watching the game (That would be me and Steve Mascord) we get to watch players of previous generations we watched play in Australia running around. If Warrington win I want to see if Joel Monaghan will look as delighted as he was in that picture taken of him getting his albino penis sucked off by a dog. It should also be interesting to see if Trent Waterhouse plays like he actually gives a fuck, because he sure as hell didn’t do that in his last two years at Penrith!
This game is a tale of two coaches….
One is the lesser brother of a good Australian coach who has never actually won anything of his life. You know the movies Twins? Well Tony Smith is the disgusting dribble that ended up being Danny DeVito, but only if Arnold Schwarzenegger had actually made losing an art form.
Then we have Brian McDermott, a man that single handedly killed a couple of versions of what are now called the London Broncos again. A coach that is so bad, I would choose Matthew Elliott over him. Yes, I just said that. I’ll always remember the picture of him standing at Wembley Stadium getting drenched in the Challenge Cup final and thinking “What a shit coach!”. Thats right, my thoughts only go so deep.
You have two interesting supporters bases here too. By interesting I mean in an Embarrassing Bodies kind of way.
Leeds fans tend to be stupid. The type of people they put warning labels on oven cleaner saying “Do not ingest” for. They turn up in big numbers to games and I would suggest it is probably the only two ours of the week their carers get some time to themselves.
Warrington fans are the biggest Kool Aid drinkers you will ever come across in your life. Imagine a bunch of backwards, paranoid country yokels all congregated in one town. That is Warrington for you right there! The only time most people visit Warrington is when they need to dump a body in the local canal. Its the type of place Deliverance was based on.
We will all have the pleasure of listening to Eddie, Stevo, The Walrus and…is that Sam Tomk…oh, sorry, I find it difficult to work out where Sam Tomkins ends and Phil Clarke begins. How he gets his head that far up Sammy’s arse I’ll never know!
All of these elements will come together in what is the annual end of season cluster fuck that is the Super League Grand Final.
For the record, my money is on Leeds. I enjoy the fact that Leeds are simply the shittest team ever to win anything.
So, now you are all up to speed on the Super League Grand Final I’m sure you can come to your own conclusions as to who will win and who will lose. Just remember that Rugby League is the winner….unless you have to sit through two hours of this fucking game.
I might catch the replay I think.
Saturday’s game is a repeat of the Challenge Cup final in August, a match Warrington won 35-18 at Wembley. And if Warrington lift the Super League crown at Old Trafford on Saturday, they will become the first team since St Helens in 2006 to win both competitions in the same season.