AFL Players Try To Set Midget On Fire During Mad Monday Celebration

Sep 03, 2013 League Freak AFL 0

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A dwarf entertainer that calls himself “Mr Big” claims he was set on fire by St Kilda AFL club players at a Mad Monday celebration.

The little person, who goes by the name of Blake Johnston, claims he was talking to one player when another player came up behind him and quietly started to set fire to his clothes with a lighter.

Thankfully the midget was largely unharmed, he managed to put out the flames and left before the group of AFL players decided to do anything else to him. Most likely they would have ended up fucking him, but that is pure speculation on my behalf.

All of the above is funny, but not a shock. Lets face it, when it comes to Mad Monday celebrations these days you need to do some really fucked up shit to shock people. The Canberra Raiders set the bar very high a few years ago when Joel Monaghan received oral sex from a dog while in a room of other players in their underwear. In comparison to that, trying to burn an Oompa-Loompa to death isn’t THAT big of a deal. I haven;t looked into it too much but I’m pretty sure these half squats don’t have souls.

Here is something everyone is overlooking….

This half person wasn’t there by coincidence. Someone sat down and said “Right, what do we need to have a good time? Well….we’ve gotta get ourselves a midget!”. They then searched around for a tiny individual that would fulfill their needs.

When the AFL’s insular prick of a CEO Andrew Demetriou was interviewed about this incident on television he couldn’t stop laughing. It seems that the AFL’s official policy is to give grief to everyone under 4 feet tall.

All of this should be very confronting to all Australian’s. Its obvious that as a nation we need to look at the discrimination faced by people that can’t see over a shop counter or who can walk under tables without ducking their heads.

As Tyrion Lannister on Game Of Thrones has taught us, these micro people can contribute to society as much as anyone else can. While they make be small and a little creepy, that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve love too!

Its obvious the AFL has a number of issues in terms of discrimination. No doubt this is just the tip of the iceberg.

I hope that Blake Johnston can put this incident behind him. That may be difficult after such a traumatic experience but I think there is one sure fire way to get his life back on track.

Follow the yellow brick road….

Link: Andrew Demetriou in laughing fit over claim dwarf entertainer was set alight on Mad Monday

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• AFL, Disgrace, Funny

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