Australia Versus England: THE Preview

Nov 05, 2011 League Freak International Rugby League News 0

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So Australia gets to play the soap dodging, Stella drinking, pasty faced whingers from northern England again, and like clockwork, the Poms are talking up their chances and using words like Pride and Confidence.

After their win last week against a Welsh team that included 8 part time players, the soap dodgers are on top of the world!

Rugby Union bound Sam Tomkins scored a huge total of four tries against Wales, and obviously that made him as good as Billy Slater, right?

With the game heading back to play test football at Wembley Stadium, the milky bastards are getting confident. After all, it is their national stadium, built by an Australian company of course.

It start with coach Steve McNamara claiming that Australia were whingers because they simply asked why the best referee’s weren’t controlling the best games. I like to give Old Macca a bit of a break every now and then though. I mean, after basically destroying the Bradford Bulls, he has now hit the big time, and he will need a few years to drive all of English Rugby League into the ground!

This flowed into Gareth Ellis claiming that Australia didn’t respect England as much as they should. I found this strange considering that Great Britain/England hasn’t been able to beat Australia in a series of any kind in Gareth Ellis’ lifetime.

Then New Zealand born and raised blow in, “Roger” Chase, came out and told people to get over the fact that he was playing for England, that it was old news. Then again he would be like that. I mean, this is a guy that has been in England a full three years and who decided, you know what, I’m now more of a Pom than I am a Kiwi!

I still contend that the NZRL should have called him into their test side, just to see him throw that English jersey in the bin in exchange for a black one from the country of his birth.

Another interesting point this week came with the news that the public would be asked to vote on what moment in British Rugby Leagues history at Wembley Stadium should be immortalized with a statue outside of the ground.

Going by the many suggestions I have seen, apparently Rugby League was only played at Wembley stadium between 1990 and 1994.

I contend that the greatest moment in British Rugby League history at the ground should be captured in Shaun Edwards reckless head of tackle on Bradley Clyde. Capture the thuggish tactics Great British looks to fall back to when all hope is lost, in yet another series the Poms couldn’t win.

England will look to draw inspiration from their best player, Chris Heighington. Heighington, who has managed to get through his entire career without being touched by the wretched stank that permeates out of the British game up until now, will show his team mates what it is like to be a professional player, but without the ego driven stupidity that the lads life in northern England affords them.

Another English player to look out for is Jack Reed. After avoiding the horrors of being brought up in England when his parents moved to Australia when he was a youngster, Reed finds himself back in blighty and playing for the country of his birth. The poor bastard.

Of course, this is a game that involves two teams.

It would be rude not to cast an eye over the Australian Kangaroos.

What a great bunch of blokes!

I’m guessing this game will be played in wet conditions because lets face it, England is such a damp, dark, miserable place. This will probably help the Poms, who are used to playing on pitches that are mostly made of moss. It will also be a good excuse to cover up their atrocious handling and costly turnovers.

Look for Sam Tomkins to show just what a magic player he is, by completely disappearing for 80 minutes, while Kevin Sinfield, shockingly, doesn’t quite get the job done at standoff and “Roger” Chase, now facing quality opposition, looks once again like a reserve grader from the NSW Cup.

Australia’s depth has been tested for this game, and the loss of Willie Tonga to injury see’s Greg Inglis get his chance to face off with some dude who no doubt has never been to a dentist.

At the end of the day, this is a mismatch. Australia will win and England will lose.

I am so confident of this fact that I am willing to put this glorious web site on the line. If Australia don’t win, I will change this web site from black and gold to pink and white, and put Justin Bieber on the banner for a whole week!

My prediction? Australia to win by 38 to 8.

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• Australia, Bradley Clyde, England, Four Nations, Gareth Ellis, Jack Reed, Kevin Sinfield, Rangi Chase, Rugby Union, Sam Tomkins, Shaun edwards, Steve McNamara, Wembley Stadium

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