League Freak Quotes

Words are my weapons, and I use them well.

Yes, during my time on the internet Ive said some very memorable things. Some things have got me into trouble, while….well, pretty much everything I say gets me into some kind of trouble!

Anyway, because of this, I decided to start capturing my best quotes and adding them to the web site.

Hopefully you get a laugh out of a few of them.

“This ones so easy, its like fishing in a bathtub!”
League Freak on getting a bite from an obsessive fool like Dickie Bowe.

“Hey Dickie, come over here so I can hit you in the head with a baseball bat! CLONK”
League Freak describes how easy it is to own Dickie Bowe

“You’re not even classed as a resident of Salford unless your female and you have more then 7 tattoo’s, or you’ve been hit in the face by a brick on atleast three occasions.” League Freak knows Salford very well.

“Oh….how can I stay mad at you? You make me laugh. You’re like a cat with its head stuck in a tin can. On one hand, I want to sit back and watch you stumble around like the fool that you are. One the other hand, I’d like to smash that tin can with a baseball bat….while your head is still in it.” Dicke Bowe gets owned AGAIN!

“If you haven’t torn a Testicle before you’re just not trying hard enough.” League Freaks opinion on reports that Chris Flannery tore a testicle in the 2004 Semi Final against the Cowboys.

“I only need a few hours of sleep to get by”
“A performance drop wouldnt make to much difference in your case”
“Well when you function at the super human level that I do…a slight drop in performance just means I’m still twice asgood as the average person and four times better then you.” Mugwump getting OWNED in a thread about insomnia.

“The open air Jail is making alot of promises I don’t think they can keep. Its the typical hot air Bull**** P.R. that English officials get an ego boost out of.” League Freak gives his thoughts on Salford officials publicly stating they are chasing Anthony Minnichello and Craig Gower

“Its like the Raiders said “How can we F*** this up? No….I mean….lets really just F*** this B*atch right up!” League Freak isnt a fan of the players Canberra recruited for the 2005 season.

“Matthew Elliot took a below average Raiders side and CRUSHED anything they had going for them into little pieces. Not only do they suck, but they are so mind numbingly boring that I stopped watching Raiders games….I avoided them because they were so boring and terrible that even the performance of their opposition wasn’t enough to stop me from loading a gun and painting my lounge room in grey matter” The Freak gives the Raiders another brilliant spray!

“Judging by the amount of weight he has put on, my guess is the hunger never went away.” League Freaks reaction to reports Jamie Lyon “Has the hunger back”.

“Its not even a prediction. Its like predicting what colour the sky is on a clear, sunny day.” League Freak on predicting who will be relegated in 2005.

“Oh…its like a breath of fresh air. Widnes, the toilet of humanity, are back where they belong, getting destroyed in a 12 try romp by a team thats flat broke!” League Freaks response after London destroyed Widnes by a scorline of 66-8.

“If Widnes was a bird with a broken wing……you’d shoot it with a cross bow, take a picture and sell it to a newspaper!” League Freak giving it to Widnes.

“If Widnes was a dog, you’d put it to sleep……With a steam roller!” League Freak keeps giving it to Widnes.

“Frank Endacott is like the Colin Farrell of Rugby League. Colin can’t act, Frank cant coach. Yet somehow, some way, these two keep getting gigs.” League Freak isn’t a fan of Happy Frank.

“Its a clash of the titans……the preview of the 2006 NL1 Grand Final!” League Freak comments on the early season showdown between cellar dwellar’s Leigh and Widnes.

“You need to seek some professional help for you self esteem issues. Either that, or walk under a bus. I’d suggest the first option just because I don’t think some poor council worker should have to mop a dumb f*** like you off the road.” League Freak Owning Awesome Wells on RLFans.

“NZ Warrior, you are a pup. Ive been here longer, I’m more well known, I was using Owned™ when you were a sparkle in some Kiwi Shepard’s eye!” NZ Warrior on League Unlimited claimed he would Own The Freak. So The League Freak decided to show him what an Owning looked like!

“Still with the Cunningham……you people are idiots.” League Freak cant believe people still want Keiron Cunningham has the Great Britain hooker.

“Darren Lockyer thinks it should be Cunningham, or that just one of those mind games?”
“Let me see….The Australian captain wants to play against Keiron Cunningham. Yeah, you should select him.”
 League Freak thinks some people will just never learn.

“Isn’t there a cheaper way to store spare seats then building a stadium in Salford?” League Freak gives his opinion on a petition set up to help along Salford bid few a new 20,000 seat stadium

“Saying their current stadium is in a bad part of Salford is like talking about the bad area of a triple max prison!” League Freak speaks the truth.

“Here is a tip…..they could build the fricken stairway to heaven in Salford…..as long as its in Salford….it will be in the sh*tty part of Salford.” League Freak Owns™ Salford.

“When there is a World Cup in the air…..and a bit of money to be pocketed…..all of a sudden Rugby League is being played again in South Africa.” League Freak comments on the state of the game in South Africa.

“Is English your second language you ball of f*ck?” After a reply full of gibberish, League Freak decides to Own™ something called a winnyason.

“Why don’t you go and visit the Wizard of Oz? He may be able to do a two for one deal and give you a heart and a brain at the same time!” League Freak Owns™ Safeways Saint on RLFans after he say’s Great Britain haven’t beaten Australia in a series for 30 years because the Lions have been over confident.

“Imagine Blink 182 or bloody Matchbox 20 back when Rock was ROCK? You don’t see either of them drinking themselves to death, biting the heads of small flying mammal’s or burning guitars. No, they cant afford to because they have bloody exams on Tuesday!” League Freak gives his thoughts and opinions about modern day rock and roll.

“I mean, these kids don’t even have groupies. They’d get security to take them away. Not in my day son….in my day….groupies stood in line until the big dog was ready to eat.” League Freak keeps fighting the power!

“I play music from back when Rock was ROCK……not like now where any b*atch that can wear sunglasses is called a Rock band. Yeah, back in my day when we drove cars that burned holes in the ozone layer…..rock was something to be proud of man…..” League Freak was possibly high when he made the quote…I don’t know.

“Its no wonder you idiots don’t look like winning a series over Australia. You know very little about the Australian game and even less about your own game!” League Freaks reply after British fans started to suggest British players would have performed better in the Origin series then some Queensland players.

“Look, your making no sense on a subject Pom’s are pretty slow on to begin with. Just accept the fact that your Mob can not beat Australia, and that GB has never been involved in a contest thats even close to Origin standard…and that your players have proven for 30 years that pressure football is something they cant handle…..and let this thread die a natural death.” League Freaks response to “The Daddy” after he suggested GB could provide NSW with a better challenge then QLD.

“We don’t want to play a full tour of the UK because the thought of playing Widnes and Salford is about as exciting as seeing the Queen wearing a G-String.” League Freaks response when told Australia was now “too scared” to take part in a full Tour of the UK.

“The best thing to come out of your country at number seven could stink of beer and have pieces of chewed up Kebab in it….and it would still rate higher then anyone you’d put out in the last 10 years at halfback!” League Freak give his opinion on the halfbacks Britain has trotted out against Australia over the last 10 years.

“I have sex with super models, wear a lot of bling, flash a bit of folding when I’m out and about…..I point at people and say things like “Right on” and “Word”. I drive a blacked out 4X4 with big chrome wheels. I have one of those half sock, half beenie, half underwear hats things and an over sized jacket. My pants are sagging down, my shoes are untied and I don’t speak clearly, I murmur and laugh at nothing to make people uncomfortable. I listen to music I cant even understand and I talk about my culture, you know, the one I’m secretly glad I never grew up in as I was in a typical middle class family. Thats how I stay cool.” League Freak responds to a thread on RLFans ask, how do you keep cool during these hot summer days?

“Perhaps we should operate a quota on this forum……allow only three antipodeans……and you would certainly not be included!!!!!!!!”
“That wouldn’t be a problem. I’d just go on the forums with all the other Aussies posters…..the Widnes forum!” League Freak Owns The Real Viking Warrior.

“You certainly would be banned within 10 seconds of logging on!!”
“Yeah, I know. Something about an age limit….I’ll wait ten years and maybe they’ll accept me then!” League Freak just keeps owning The Real Viking Warrior!

“I cant f***ing believe it….A pre-emptive whinge!” League Freaks reaction to a thread by a Bulldogs fans whinging about any Panthers fans that may whinge about a no try decision.

“Kind of. Its more then that….its the hype in the lead up. Its the false hope. Its building the side up to be something its clearly not. Matching performances against similar opposition, talking down Australia at every imperfect thing they do. Taunting us. Telling us you have passed us. We’re not as good as we once we’re. Our time is over. Your not afraid of us…….” League Freak explains the similarities in the buildup between the British Rugby league team and the English Cricket team.

“Every year of my life….the same s*** happens. The Pom’s work the script….they get smashed…..they have about one week of honest, grounded self reflection….and then its back to the drawing board as you start working on your next disaster!” League Freak explains the cycle of failure in more simple terms.

“I just hope one of these NL1 teams gets screwed over……….it will give their fans something to talk about for the next 40 years.” Sometimes, League Freak can be so cruel.

“Its not every day a club gets to secure the signature of a player the quality of Ben Jeffries…..” League Freaks bemused response as a Wildcats fan has a dig at Giants fans over the re-signing of their super star!

“I can think of nothing worse then walking around naked and dragging my c*** in the sand behind me.” League Freaks response to a thread of RLFan’s asking….would you strip off at a nudist beach.

“Salford reminds me of a the inside of a coffin. If you have been there or you currently reside there, you contribution to society is over!” League Freak lays down another classic about Salford.

“I know a great deal about the game of Rugby League, of that there is no doubt. At times, that effects the self esteem of people that post on message boards such as this and they feel the need to attack me….but that fine. I realise that the day I start agreeing with idiots with stars in there eyes is the day I have lost grasp on reality……and when that day comes….. I’ll follow the Warriors!” League Freak explains his greatness on LU’s forums.

“I’d suggest that the majority of the human population hasn’t heard of them….and the people that have heard of them are doing their best to try and forget them!”League Freaks response to a surprised poster on RLFan’s who couldn’t believe the people in a sports shop hadn’t heard of the Leigh Centurions.

Voice on the phone: “You either sign a contract extension with Souths…..or we release the tape.”
Fletcher: “I have a few media contacts…..I could probably get it coverage on the Footy Show…..you want prime time….I can get you prime time…”
 League Freak speculates on alleged blackmail claims against South Sydney’s Bryan Fletcher.

“Apparently, 1 in 5 NRL merchandise items sold has been Bulldogs gear too. That’s 20% of the market.”
“Yeah, the Bulldogs sales have really….exploded.” League Freak just couldn’t help himself.

“Pretty good anyway considering all things. Highest attendance of any Sydney team, imagine how good the figures would be minus the wankers.”
“You’d only get 5,000 to games if the wankers didn’t turn up!” League Freak couldn’t help but give the Bulldogs fans a bit of grief as they talked about their attendance averages during the 2005 season.

“Oh no…..not Barrie McDermott!”
“Danny Ward….oh no…not……who the **** is Danny Ward?”
 League Freak predicts Andrew Johns reaction as GB fans suggest McDermott and Ward will end Andrew Johns season before the 2005 Tri Series begins.

“I love the way these KR fans think its some type of achievement taking 2,000 fans to the best stadium in Hull to watch the best team in Hull lap their poor attempt as a suburban, semi professional NL1 outfit.” League Freak drops a beauty on Hull KR fans.

“I have to admit…..I’ve had Bledisloe sex. It went for two hours but…..deadset….there was only five good minutes of action during the whole damn thing!” League Freak describes post Bleidsloe Cup sex that was boasted about by some stupid SMH journo.

“Widnes is loaning players to an NL1 side…..What….do they want them to get relegated as well?” League Freak comments on a Widnes plan to loan players to an NL1 side that would hopefully go on to win the NL1 title. The theory was that this team could not be promoted to SL and that would save Widnes from relegation.

“I don’t think Salford fans are in any position to bag Widnes. As the old saying goes, people in cardboard boxes shouldn’t throw stones.” League Freak sets Salford fans straight as they start to bag the Widnes.

“I do satire fairly well but I think Brian Noble does it better.” League Freak delivers it deadpan…maybe thats why so many people just don’t get it.

“They were going to go with Keiron Cunningham but they found his image alone added 3 kilo’s to the weight of the game.” League Freak comments on the box for Rugby League 2 that uses Paul Sculthorpe’s image on the front.

“The best part about the Cunningham edition was that after playing the game, you could eat the CD.” League Freak talks about the Keiron Cunningham edition of RL2.

“I don’t hate GB players Keiron Cunningham is my favorite morbidly obese person in the whole world!” League Freak defends himself against claims on a St Helen’s message board that he hates all British Rugby League players.

“This is a tough game to tip. My head says the Tigers. My gut says that everything has fallen into place for the Panthers so far and it might just continue with a Panthers big win. My heart says “Oh no, not another f***ing Panthers game” League Freak gives his thoughts on the Panthers round 26 match up against the Wests Tigers in 2005.

“Its like saying Mike Tyson will miss his next fight because Frank Spencer is going to kick his arse at the weigh in!” League Freak responds to calls thats Andrew Johns will meet his match at the hands of 40 year old Super League props as he makes his debut for Warrington.

“To be fair McGuire was anonymous too. As were many Leeds players.”
“McGuire put a try on from nothing. Burrow stood in the garden holding a f***ing shovel!” League Freak gives his assessment of Rob Burrow in Andrew Johns first game for Warrington.

“Just f**k off you worm, go talk to your self about your important opinions on your web site. Read this, YOUR ARE A WASTE OF A GOOD WANK.”
“First…..what happened to adding me to your ignore list? Second…you think about me when you have a toss?” League Freak Owns something called a winnyason AGAIN.

“Like I care what someone from Salford thinks anyway. Unless I want to know whats better to get high off, silver or gold spray paint, I have no time for anything a Salford fan has to say.” League Freak knows Salford very well.

“I think you’ll find its good politics to be seen to wear as many nations sporting team shirts and jerseys and you can. League fans remember the League shirts, union fans remember the union ones, AFL fans remember the soccer ones and soccer fans just claim its all a conspiracy against them.” League Freak gives his opinion on the habit that Australian Prime Minister John Howard has of wearing track suits and sweat shirts of Australian nation sporting teams. He also gives a much bigger insight into Australia’s sporting landscape.

“Oh no…Bailey is on the field. Here Mini take the ball…I don’t want it. Run Mini….run…….Good try.” League Freak reponds to calss on RLFans that Australian Test player are afraid of Ryan Bailey (Most Australians that just read that comment are wondering who Ryan Bailey is!).

“Oh man, Ive got the ball from the kickoff and here comes Bailey. You know after this we’re going to the U.S, that should be interesting. I hear we are playing on a small field….AH!!! Oh….he’s still at the 40 meter line. So as I was saying we’re going to the U.S….” League Freak gives his opinion on Bailey through role play.

“You’re on fire today JB. You’ve obviously had your Berocca enema.” League Freak hands out more Ownage™ after JB suggest’s League Freak must be a huge Craig Gower fans because he dares to suggest that of all the halfbacks in Australia…Gower might actually be one of the better ones!

“The irony of people stealing something from Salford is just to good to be true!” League Freak repond’s to a whinge from a Salford fan that some Asian soccer team stole their logo.

“Andrew Johns will still be around to tear GB a new @rsehole in the Tri-Nations.”
“They’ll need a new ar$ehole now that Newton has been ruled out!” League Freak breaks out some smack!

“It just goes to show that its time for Nine to become a partner in the game of Rugby League rather then just a seeing League as a timeslot between a gardening show and Nightline.” League Freak in a more serious moment when commenting in a thread about record ratings for the 2005 AFL Grand Final.

“I know I’m not a Salford fan because I have a receipt for my computer.” League Freaks response when a Salford fan alleged that League Freak also had a soft spot for the club.

“Someone should make a clip of all the similar moments the British game has produced. Infact, better yet, make it an animated gif. It will be small enough that I can use it as an avatar.” League Freaks response to some Pommy fool that suggested that an 11 minute Origin highlights clip wasn’t all that impressive.

“Why don’t they just relocate to America right now… “
“Are you one of these idiots that think the name Titans was originally from America and having world class facilities is something that only happens in America? Someone should relocate you to the middle of the pacific ocean!” League Freak gives it to the 743rd whinger thats bagged the new Gold Coast side because they have a great looking logo and will have a world class stadium.

“Comparing the NRL to Super League is like comparing Picasso to Paint By Numbers.” Could League Freak be a man of culture?

“I hear they sell very well at Salford games because Reds fans not only see a match day programme, but they see a luxury item in the fact that it can double as toilet paper.” League Freak talks about match day programme’s with British League fans.

“In ours, The Glorious League Freak, we have 20 pages dedicated to the subject, “Which is the most aerodynamic bottle?”
“YES!!” League Freak enjoys a quote from a Hull fan.

“Salford’s one also is marked with little light grey lines. If you fold the programme along these lines…..you get Salford new stadium.” League Freak continues to chat about Salford match day programme.

“Apparently the Huddersfield one encourages neutral sports fans to fold it into a half, take a crap in it and wear it on your head for three day. That way you can feel like a Giants fans….atleast for a week.” League Freak knowns British fans very well. They liked this comment.

“It depends on so many variables. For instance, if your are a rising young star of the game in GB….its 16 years old that your career hits its peak. If you are a Kiwi….its usually about 22 years of age before you slide away and just become an average player. For an Australian its anywhere between 15 and 38 because we are super humans.” League Freak gives his opinion on when a Rugby League players reaches the prime of his career.

“Thats just dumb……par for the course for you….but dumb for everyone else.” League Freak Owns™ The Clan.

“The Tigers should just pay Benji and Prince what they are worth and realise that good forwards come along every day but a good young halves combination comes alone once in a lifetime.” League Freak gives the Wests Tigers some advice.

“You have been Owned™. Head back to your insignificant teams board and keep out of my way.” League Freak Owns™ a Leigh fan who came into the NRL forum on RLFans, said League Freak was “retarded”, then started a new thread calling everyone childish, then b*tched out and went home with his tail between his legs.

“Did anyone see those two kiwis street fight outside the stadium after the match???”
“No but tell us who won the fight for the call up, Carroll or Thorn?” League Freak asks about a street fight after the Kangaroo’s were beating by the Kiwi’s in the first game of the 2005 Tri Nations. Do you think League Freak was also having a dig as previous selection policies?

“If he rips apart Great Britain like he did last season, I think we should get him a minder, an attendant, an assistant and a nanny!” League Freak comments on dissatisfaction with reports that Darren Lockyer would have a “new Minder” in the form of Luke O’Donnell during the 2005 Tri Nations.

“West siiiiii. Donotas woriz bout dese girlymen. Keep it rewl. Pess owt.” League Freak tells viking_lad_is_back that its ok to type in txt speak with a little bit of idiot thrown in.

“Lets sit down and think this through. What is the most likely to be true? A…..Craig Gower had a gentlemans agreement to move to a club fighting relegation, a club who sounded out 5 top class players and didn’t sign anyone even close to their quality and a club thats based in the Salford of all places…..OR…..B…..The morons that ran Salford tried to stroke their own ego’s by pretending that they ever had an agreement of any kind for Gower to join Salford and that in doing so they made their club a laughing stock?” League Freak comments on a Salford forum about a supposed broken handshake agreement between Salford and Craig Gower.

“I cant believe Salford fans are fighting one another. I mean…there are about five of you all up…work it out over a few cones or something.” League Freak does his best to keep the peace between Salford fans.

“Well done to the suburb of Salford. Its about time they found themselves put on the map for something other than the high crime rate, high unemployment rate, high drug use rate, high overdose rate, high teenage pregnancy rate and a high murder rate.” League Freak offers his congratulations to the Manchester Suburb that is the home of the Reds.

“Petrol Sniffer Municipal Stadium, Track Mark Park, Salford Seat Storage, Prison Chiv Stadium, Jail…” League Freak suggests names for Salford’s new stadium.

“I have some problems with this image. First of all…its obviously a bumper crowd as you can see by the empty seats and few cars….but where are the groups of thugs waiting outside to roll people? Where is the outline of the previous weeks victims on the sidewalk? Where are the burnt out cars, the graffiti and the ambulance trying to revive someone thats OD’ed on spray paint? Not very realistic at all!” League Freak comments on an artists impression of Salford’s new stadium.

“You know the difference between Hull fans and Salford fans don’t you? Hull fans try to B.S. people that they are better than they really are. See a Hull fan wait smash you in the head with a beer bottle and then say it was a one off and that they are not normally like that. A Salford fan will stab you, take you shoes and your wallet, tell you “Thats ow we do it eh in Salfud” and then wait a week before knocking over your house that they found because your address is on your driver licence!” League Freak gives a running commentary on the people on Northern England. In reality, League Freak loves everyone…..just don’t tell anybody OK. 😉

“Dear Australian Rugby League Supremacy….I was born when you were 8 years into your run. Even though Im still only 11, you have changed forever. Your like that girl I always fancied at school but then found out she slept with someone else….you’ve changed forever. I always wondered what this day would be like. I havent been able to eat, I could it hard to even mast****** this morning and again this afternoon. Maybe we will meet up again one day down the track, but just know my life will never be the same again. RIP” League Freak signs a book of condolences for the Australian game after the 2005 Tri Series loss to New Zealand.

“Don’t care what anyone says about our club, i know deep down they don’t want us here, and its up to us and the players to show them Rugby league needs us. Red Army!!!”
“I agree. The world needs laughter.” Straight out of a month long Holiday, League Freak start kicking Salford once again!

“Ignore it, he’s a troll and an unfunny one at that!”
“Havent you got a job in Wigan to scab or something?”
“I need this translating.”
“It means, pull your head in your gormless f***!” Saintly Hopps gets Owned™ by the greatest human being on the face of this planet. Namely, League Freak!

“Oh the irony.”
“Dont be jelous of me because I stand out like a shining light of greatness. Just sit in the background and watch….” Saintly Hopps come back for more and got beaten once again with the Ownage™ stick.

“This is a good signing. Pity it isnt 1998.” League Freak comments on Castleford signing of Shaun Timmins.

“Pro – What all the females in your family will be if you end up being a Salford fan. Con – What EVERY member of your family will end up being if you become a Salford fan.” Another classic!

“Last time I let the b*tches get a say!” League Freak during an RLFans Radio “Ladies Night” in which he played requests from the female memebers of the forum.

“Where does a diamond look better….sitting atop a pile of sh*t, or on a band of gold? Thats the difference between Widnes and Souths.” League Freak explains David Peachey’s improved form on his return to the NRL.

“The only way Cunningham would be a world class hooker is if he was paid to screw with hot dogs!” League Freak knocks another one out of the park!

“They offered $1,000,000 to sleep with my wife. Now, I’m not married, but I look good in a dress. So you do the math.” That League Freak is a funny fellow!

Oh, shock horror, Huddersfield feels like the world has taken another steaming dump on their heads. I mean, like its not bad enough they live in a grey, depressing little corner of the planet! Here is a tip, you don’t belong in SL you pretenders, so stop your whinging! League Freaks response after hearing the Huddersfield Giants whining yet again about being hard done by.

“I don’t want to stir up anything, but you people (And I mean the few KR fans that have internet access) have a history of violence. Now thats not to say you’re not violent any more, because you are. All I’m saying if that if there is trouble at a game, chances are it was caused by a KR fan. Now, some of you people may think thats a bit harsh, but then again, you are KR fans, so your opinions don’t count here. Just do us all a favor and keep your violence amongst yourselves.” League Freak addresses Hull KR fans after reports of violent outbreaks during their first few matches of the 2007 Super League season.

“Look I agree 100%. B*tches and hoes do get treated pretty unfairly by the superior sex. Its like Ive been saying for a long time, yes, show me your t*ts, but know that I will listen to you and pretend to respect your opinion.” League Freak stands up for womens rights as a report states that women get treated worse then men online.

“When I first saw this thread title I wondered which Widnes player was gonna be in trouble.” League Freak posting in a thread titled “CCTV catches pensioners’ sex act”.

F*ck off you stupid ocker c*nt!
Usually from Widnes you hear “Ocker…..want $300,000 to play in our sh*tty little suburban club?”
Oh? How many aussies have we got at the club genius?
WTF…..Widnes is still around? I thought that piece of sh*t club shut down years ago!
League Freaks exchange with “CD” after the completely accurate post about Widnes.

What you thought, as always, is as irrelevant as it is stupid. And as for what you are, well that’s obvious to anyone who half a brain.
Was it obvious to you half a brain? CD gets Owned™.

“GB don’t just lose, they get embarrassed. This is a side that couldn’t make the top two of a three team series even though one team had points taken away from it!”League Freak sets the record straight on the competitiveness of the Great Britain side.

“St Helens is the only place on earth where the woman have less teeth and more body hair then the men.” League Freak gives everyone a rundown of females from St Helens.

“Hairy women in Wakey I must say. Heaps of teenage mothers…and the smell of the place….how can an entire town smell like someone just took a sh*t?” League Freak gives his impression of Wakefield.

“Whats it like to look in the mirror and think “This is it….this is how the world will remember me” League Freak Owning™ the fat, disgusting slob on RLFans called marto.

“I mean, there are two times in life you will hear the phrase “Crouch and hold”. One is on a rugby union pitch, the other is in Kings Cross with a tall woman with a deep voice and an adams apple.” League Freak makes a comment on MSN about rugby union.

“I’m soory, but even God isn’t as popular in Newcastle as the Knights.” League Freak responds to an article on the Daily Telegraph web site with a quote from the Newcastle Jets owner saying his soccer club would soon be more popular in the Steel City then the Newcastle Knights.

“How can anyway watch this game? Its just a stumbling, bumbling mess of 30 players and very little actual football at all. I mean, these lot are supposed to be the best of the best! If you made the basic mistakes they did playing others sports….well….you wouldn’t be playing for long! Maybe thats the role of rugby union though, a place for all the sportsmen that lack the sufficient skill and talent to excel at other sports.” League Freak on Sydneys Daily Telegraph website after watching bits and pieces of England vs a few private school boys from North Sydney in the 2007 rugby union world cup.

“The reason they are short is because they dont need to make GB shirts to cover the players guts….because they havent shown any guts for about 30 years.” League Freaks response to someone on RLFans commenting on the weird fit of the latest Great Britain jerseys.

“I give people what that want. Thats seems to be a place without fat, balding, middle aged men who’s only form of manhood exist on the end of a moderation badge. By the way….OWNED™” League Freak delivers one of the most brutal Ownings™ ever seen as he destroys someone called tb on the RLFans forums.

“The gravity produced by the sheer mass of Keiron Cunningham.” League Freaks answer to the question, what attracts you to Rugby League over other sports.

“Oh god, here we go, more stories. You just know he was the one trying to find the Broncos laundry bags in the hotel so he could sniff Gorden Tallis’ skid marks!” The King Owning™ someone called jonh on RLFans after they decided to make out that they were best buddies with the Brisbane Broncos during their stay in the UK for the World Club Challenge.

“If there is one thing the Bulldogs have taught us, especially in regards to group bonding…There is ALWAYS room for another hooker!” League Freak on The Kennel forums in regards to a poster that said the Bulldogs shouldnt look at signing Luke Priddis because the club “doesn’t need another hooker”.

“Look, Leeds have one of the top British hookers already who is effective for them. They have a heap of juniors. So tell me why they are paying HUGE money for an Australia thats effectiveness has gone down hill faster than Keiron Cunningham chasing an ice cream truck!” League Freaks assesment of the Leeds Rhinos signing of Danny Buderus, who wil well past his prime.

“Its like a house brick interviewing a block of cheese.” League Freaks take on a Sydney Telegraph article in which players Mark O’Meley and Corey Hughes interview each other.

“Bring back the salary cap rorting administrating you stupid bulldogs fans. Honestly, you Bulldogs supporters just don’t know when you’re missing a good thing. So what…you lose 32 points….big deal! In fact, I think you Bulldogs fans should go and try and clone Hittler. Just think what he’d do with the Bulldogs army. You’d have a premiership reign of 1,000 years! Or…..maybe you should just stick with the current administration thats trying to deal with all the crap the previous administration left in its wake….” League Freak on a Bulldogs forum after some idiot kept urging fans to bring back the same administration that rorted the salary cap in 2002 by millions of dollars. Their point was that, its wasn’t so bad what they did!

“Northern English winter……..Australian summer…….I have to say, I’d be torn between those choices as well!” League Freak’s response in a thread where English fans were having a go at English Rugby League great and current Sky commentator Mike Stephenson over living in Australia during the off season.

“The thing is, Stanley Gene isn’t god. He did go to the same high school as God, he was a couple of grades higher up than him though so they weren’t really mates or anything.” League Freak commenting on the idea that Stanley gene is God.

“Imagine being the ghost writer for Peacock….getting everything he has to say over the phone. That has to be the toughest job in the world right now.” League Freak on a post about Jamie Peacock writing for The Times.

“I can imagine the writer calling over one of his mates in the office and Saying “Have a listen to this”. His mate picks up the phone, listens and has a puzzled look on his face. “Whats this mate?” “Its Jamie Peacock!” “Fooking hell, I thought it was the line to a fax machine!” Ah League Freak, you always bring a smile to my face….probably because you are me!

“Besides, toughness is not something you can accuse England of having. They fold quicker than a deck chair from Ikea!” League Freak in a thread on RLFans where funnily enough the Poms were questioning the toughness of Australian players.

“Benny just stated the facts of the matter. You whinging, bleating Poms need to realize you are not special, you are just another side we thrash on a regular basis.”League Freak defends Benny Elias after he told The Sun that England couldn’t beat an egg, let alone Australia.

“What if you have less than 17 World Class players, as is the case with England?”
“Then you talk about being confident for 18 months, lose anyway, blame the ref and change nothing.”
 League Freak just knows how life works.

“You’re not special. I’m always right, you just happen to agree with me for once.” League Freaks stock standard reply to snot nosed losers who say “You know, I hate everything you say, but I agree with you this time”.

“Choosing Tony Smith as England coach is like ordering the double chocolate ice cream at the Coogee Bay Hotel. Mmmm….it looks good, just wait till you see how it tastes!” League Freak talks smack with current affairs!

“Well the surrender monkeys did love the little white ant, and its no wonder. He’s quit so many times they might have well give him a beret and a pair of the French Army issues runners!” League Freak on Stacey Jones popularity in France. League Freak should be a diplomat!

“Its got pink in it. The only time a want to see pink at a Rugby League match is when the cheerleaders do that high kicking!” League Freak comments on the Harlequins Rugby League jersey.

“Anyway, as has been stated plenty of times already, Rugby Union in Wales have less money than Keiron Cunningham’s dietitian.” League Freak comments on news that Welsh Rugby Union may look to poach players from the Celtic Crusaders Rugby League club.

“If you lived in Warrington you’d be void of optimism too.” League Freak speaking about Warrington fans booing their teams and not looking forward to any improvement.

“England is crap….Ive been saying it for 20 years, and they have never failed to live up to my expectations.” League Freak comments on the English side as they head towards a thrashing in the 2009 Four Nations against Australia.

“Wow, I feel sorry for the opposition when an over weight, unathletic Saffie waddles out onto the field and then takes a knee for five minutes while the ball is retrieved from the stands.” League Freak on the Sydney Telegraph web site on a story about a South African Rugby Union player playing for an ARU team who had lost 22kilograms and still looked like a couch.

“He should have sent him some fat blaster….” League Freak again on the Daily Telegraph web site in response to news that Tim Sheens had sent Lote Tuqiri a welcome back to Rugby League pack.

“I know they have a big wrap on this guy down in Melbourne. They must value silly old men who shuffle around looking for a microphone just to prove they have completely lapsed into a state of senility.” The Glorious One makes a reference to the coach of the second Sydney team the AFL is wasting their money setting up, Kevin Sheedy.

“To be fair to Kyle Eastmond, he’s nothing short of adorable when he says “What you talk’n bout Willis?”” League Freak after news Kyle Eastmond has switched codes.

“Rumours that Cronulla Sharks officials have been seen lining up at local Commonwealth Bank ATMs have been denied by the club.” League Freak comments after Commonwealth Bank ATM’s in Sydney went crazy and started to allow people to take out as much money as they wanted not matter how much they actually had in the bank.

“They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our…..I’m English now.” League Freak taking the piss out of Danny Brough switching from Scotland to England in the space of a few months.

“As a man, I can have a full on argument with someone about a lot of things, and front up to them again the very next day. Why? Because I’m not some unique and delicate flower who’s feelings need cradled in strawberry scented bubbles just to get by in life.” League Freak in an article talking about the many feuds in the game that lead to grown men refusing to talk to one another.

“For Rugby League in GB, the World Cup isn’t a silver bullet. Its made of lead, and its going into the base of the skull.” League Freak on Twitter after seeing yet another non contest in the Challenge Cup.

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