I Hate Rugby Union

Welcome to IHateRugbyUnion.com

On this web site you will find some corrections to the misinformation put out by rugby union media and fans about the quality and standing of their sport. Basically this section of the web site is all about setting the record straight.

Rugby League Players And The Time Taken To Make Test Level
Iestyn Harris – 11 Days – Welsh test Side
Brian Carney – 1 Month and 16 Days – Irish Test Side
Lesley Vainikolo – 3 Months and 22 Days – English Test Side
Matt Rogers – 3 Months and 28 Days – Australian Test Side
Wendel Sailor – 3 Months And 29 Days – Australian Test Side
Timana Tahu – 5 Months and 9 Days – Australian Test Side
Berrick Barnes – 1 Year 4 Months – Australian Test Side
Ryan Cross – 1 Year 5 Months – Australian Test Side
Craig Gower – 1 Year 6 Months – Italian Test Side
Shontaye Hape – 1 Yeah and 7 Months – English Test Side
Chris Ashton – 2 Years and 4 Months – English Test Side


Rugby Union Quotes
“I’m 49, I’ve had a brain haemorrhage and a triple bypass and I could still go out and play a reasonable game of rugby union. But I wouldn’t last 30 seconds in rugby league.” Graham Lowe back in 1995

“It’s the first time I’ve been cold for seven years. I was never cold playing Rugby League.” Jonathan Davies on his return to Rugby Union.

“A bomb under the west car park at Twickenham on an international day would end fascism in England for a generation.” Phil Toynbee.

“Rugby League is a simple game played by simple people. Rugby union is a complex game played by wankers.” Former Australian captain Laurie Daley.

“I don’t consider myself a celebrity,” he said. “And I’ve got a great family that makes sure it stays that way. It doesn’t matter if I’m playing union for Australia, they still reckon I’m not good enough to play reserve grade in rugby league.” Australian rugby union “sensation” Matt Giteau knows his place in the world.

“Never have I seen the Wallabies play as badly … it was agony watching Stephen Larkham and Chris Latham continually kick the ball away to an opposition which was equally inept at running the football, ensuring the game degenerated into a fantastic advertisement for rugby league. What a waste of a night.” Australian Rugby Union talking head Mark Ella after an Australia vs South Africa Rugby Union test match in 2006.

“Pelous, who will miss his side’s opening match in Italy through injury, added: “I just want to be involved. This is the championship every French player wants to be part of. The Rugby World Cup is big, sure, but there is nothing to compare with the Six Nations, and that’s because we don’t know who will win it. We all have a realistic chance.” League fans already knew the rugby union world cup was a second rate competition.

“I don’t really watch that much Super 14 or union on TV,” Beale told Mark Ella’s new website rugbyexclusive.com “I’m always watching Super Saturday (NRL). I wouldn’t mind going back to play league. It all depends.” Australian rugby unions great hope, young former League player from Western Sydney Kurtley Beale had been a professional union player for five minutes and he is already sick of it!

“I like being competitive and I like to have the ball in my hands,” Tahu said at the time.” That would probably be the most stressful thing; the game’s close and you want to do something and you can’t even get the ball because they’re very structured. Being a centre or winger, you touch the ball two times in a game – and I don’t really want to be doing that.” Timana Tahu a few weeks before he actually signed a four year contract to play Rugby Union, at which point, he changed his tune. Funny how money does that!

“The timing isn’t good when you’re asking proven Wallabies to take a haircut,” ACT brumbies rugby union team chief executive Andrew Fagan on the signing of Tahu at a time when current rugby union players are being short changed. Not only does this prove that union administrators are idiot, but its also an insight that union players like to be paid in human hair.

“I have said for 20 years that if rugby really wants to compete with other high-entertainment sports all it has to do is make the field 10 metres wider. Also get rid of scrums, as they are a blight on the game. It is a complete waste of entertainment time when they reset another ego-driven caveman monstrosity.” Former Australian rugby union kicking coach Ben Perkins. Perkins had an afl background.

“I probably wouldn’t,” he said. “I want to stay in league. I prefer league over union. I don’t like the way it stops and starts. It seems pretty boring to me.” Young Melbourne Storm NRL winger Israel Folau gives his opinion on rugby union after talk that the aru should target him as their highest priority signing. At the time he had played 9 first grade games.

“I’ve played for the Wallabies in a World Cup final, the Maroons and the Kangaroos and I have absolutely no doubt that Origin football is the toughest you’ll play in either code,” Former Origin and rugby union test player Matt Rogers giving his opinion on which is the toughest form of football.

“I wish!” Timana Tahu in late 2007 when asked by Mattew Johns whether he was able to get out of his rugby union contract starting in 2008.

“Except for the front row, there’s no reason why a rugby league player couldn’t quickly adapt. They certainly have more superior skills with the ball in their hands than the Wallaby forwards.” Dual international John Gray on Rugby Leagues more skillful players.

“I’ve not seen it,” commented the England international. “I’ve been watching the rugby league.” English soccer star Wayne Rooney when asked about the 2007 rugby union world cup.

“I love league, I love watching league but I love watching union and I like watching all sorts of union.

“That’s what we’ve got to be careful with, just talking about Australia. As much as I love the way we approach our sport, we’ve got to be careful we don’t change the game just because we want entertainment. We first of all had 50-over cricket, that wasn’t exciting enough, so now we’ve got 20-over cricket. So go and watch seven-a-side (rugby) or go and watch rugby league.” Former Australian rugby union coach and current South African assistant coach Eddie Jones on talks of changing rugby unions rules to be more like Rugby League after the world was so incredibly bored by the 2007 rugby union world cup.

“I interfered with quokkas in fascination of our icon, not to be cruel, not to show off in front of my teammates and definitely not to hurt them. They are awesome creatures and I apologise profusely for being intoxicated and thus being clumsy in returning a quokka to the ground.” Australian union player Scott Fava after being fined $11,000 for mistreating a protected Australian marsupial while drunk with all his team mates.

“The [World Cup] games were intense and precise and very much based around getting to the right places on the field to kick … and that doesn’t, if I’m going to be honest, enthral me … the idea of going into a game knowing you’ve got to put the ball around kicking doesn’t really enthral me. It’s not why I got into rugby.” John Wilkinson said this. Even this over rated cock doesn’t like rugby union!

“It’s got a lot more of a rugby league feel on it, There’s no stop-start, the essence of what rugby is, anymore.” Some South African called Bryan Habana talking about how he doesnt like the new “Polishing a turd” rules union have come up with to stop people who watch it falling into a coma. It seems Bryan likes to stand around and do nothing when he plays rugby.

“I get paid to do stuff and it’s a waste of time if I don’t see the ball much,” Tongan born, Zew Zealander come Pom Lesley Vainikolo already realizes that in union wingers don’t see the ball. It hasn’t stopped him trouncing them though.

“I’d suspect the All Blacks selectors are smiling from ear to ear in terms of Brad Thorn. Brad has just been outstanding. He offers so much because he is a set piece specialist … there are not many who are better than him in that area. Then he adds the dimension of being able to run with the ball and he is also very often amongst our top defenders. So he is very valuable to us. He has come in from years of the NRL where it is week after week grind so he is knows how to do it … he has a great way with training.” A Super 14 coach called Mark Hammett on former Rugby League player Brad Thorn. It seems that at age 33, Thorn is tearing it up in Rugby Union.

“Hammett reckons Thorn is a better player now and has learned to blend some key traits from league into his rugby game. His fitness and stamina have been extraordinary over the first six rounds of the championship being played under the new rules where the Crusaders have gone unbeaten.” Rugby haven writer Duncan Johnstone on how a 33 year old former Rugby League forward not known for his speed, stamina or mobility in Rugby League is basically a mile ahead of any other rugby union player.

“Fortunately for me I’m enjoying my rugby with the Ospreys, hopefully it’ll continue for the next couple of years so I can stay away from that rugby league – it seems a little tough to me!” Welsh Rugby Union star and IRB player of the year nominee Shane Williams on comments from Allan Bateman that the Celtic Crusaders should sign him as they enter Super League.


Highest Scores In Tryless Games
2007 “Super” 14 Semi Final – Bulls 27 (Derick Hougaard 8 pen, dropped goal) Crusaders 12 (Daniel Carter 4 pen)

Close Scorelines In International Rugby Union
Australia beat Nambia 142-0 (October 2003)
England beat Uruguay 111-13 (October 2003)
New Zealand beat Tonga 91-7 (October 2003)
Australia beat Romania 90-8 (October 2003)
England beat Georgia 84-6 (October 2003)
South Africa beat Uruguay 72-6 (October 2003)
New Zealand beat Italy 70-7 (October 2003)
New Zealand beat Canada 68-6 (October 2003)
Junior All Blacks beat Japan 51-3 (June 2007)
Junior All Blacks beat Australia A 50-0 (June 2007)
Samona beat Tonga 50-3 (June 2007)

Rugby Union World Cup
All the time we hear about the great international competition rugby union has. and how the rugby union world cup is such a riviting, close competition.

2003 Rugby Union World Cup
There were ten games played in each of the four groups of the 2003 rugby union world cup.
Group A: 55.2 vs 9.5
Group B: 39.6 vs 17.3
Group C: 56.3 vs 11.5
Group D: 45.5 vs 13.5
Finals: 29.975 (239) vs 13.75 (110)
Entire Tournament: 45.9375 (2205) vs 13.0834 (628)

1987 Rugby Union World Cup
6 group games were played in the 1987 rugby union world cup.
Group A: 37.167 (223) vs 12 (72)
Group B: 32.834 (197) vs 10.5 (63)
Group C: 43.5 (261) vs 12.334 (74)
Group D: 46.834 (281) vs 18.834 (113)
Finals: 30 (240) vs 12.125 (97)
Entire Tournament: 37.563 (1202) vs 13.094 (419)


Australian Sports Crowd Comparisons
Australia is a great sproting nation with many great sporting competitions. Here is a look at the 2007 Grand Final crowds for various clubs competitions in Australian sport:

Australian Rules Football: 97,302 (Melbourne Cricket Ground)
Rugby League: 81,392 (Telstra Stadium)
Soccer: 55,436 (Telstra Dome)
Netball: 8,500 (Acer Arena)
Basketball: 7,539 – Game Three (Brisbane Entertainment Centre)
Rugby Union: 4,189 (Central Coast Stadium)


Rugby Union Dictionary
Rugby Union is such a complex game, so sometimes people need help understanding its complex terms.

Ball (A)
Something an outside back in rugby union never see’s.

Ball (B)
Something Welsh rugby union fans cut off after a loss.

The act of watching a player run past you.

Different Body Types
Fat people.

Failed League Convert
A Former Rugby League player that goes to rugby union, completely dominates, but then decides they want to go back to League and are then the target of a campeign to discredit their achievemnts in their short but outstanding rugby union career.

Five Tackles And A Kick (A)
The structure of a sporting contest. Is the opposition of watching fat men rolling in mud for 80 minutes.

Five Tackles And A Kick (B)
The sum total of involvement a back in rugby union can hope to make over the course of a season.

Frost Bite
A condition that effects rugby union outside backs due to lack of activity.

Game Played In Heaven
Term used to describe rugby union. You must be dead to apriciate it.

High Tackle Count
The phrase used to describe a non stop tackling machine that has racked up 7 tackles in the course of a game.

League Convert
A former Rugby League player who plays at rugby unions highest level within weeks of switching codes despite the supposed complexities of the game.

The formation of two parallel lines of fat or lanky players that goes from the sideline and travels in field. A fat person with no neck then throws the ball between these lines of players and the resulting mess is one of the greatest specticles in all of sport….apparently.

Penalty Goal
The main for of scoring in rugby union. Worth three points.

The act of being in control of the ball, a factor that has no baring on the eventual result of the game.

Referee’s Whistle
The origin of the high pitched noise heard during a rugby union match every 20-30 seconds.

Rugby League
A sport played in Sydney and Northern England that has given union every single one of its inovations over the last 100 years.

Running Rugby
The act of standing around for five minutes while the ball is thrown back onto the playing surface from row K in the Grand Stand.

Where fat people stand around, have a drink of water, maybe a chat, a stretch and then headbutt each other three times before the referee blows his whistle and hands the ball to one side or the other on a completely random basis.

Touch Finder
The refined skill of having no one infront of you, an over lap out wide and playing against a defense that couldnt stop a crippled 90 year old from breaking through, but kicking the ball into the stand anyway.

The worlds largest sleep inducing auditorium, based in London, England.

Television Match Official (TMO)
An amazing invention by Rugby Union thats has nothing to do with the countless sporting organizations that had been using video technology to make the correct calls in a game for years. Like Rugby Leagues Video Referee. You see, it has a different name.

William Web Ellis
A fictional character made up by union authorities to claim some sort of ownership of the creation of all forms of “rugby”.

World Wide Television Audience
New Zealand, Wales, small pockets in England and North Sydney television viewers.

3 thoughts on “IHateRugbyUnion.com

  1. Rugby League was created for those who couldnt play Rugby Union properly. Without Union, League would not exist. Personally, I am a RUGBY fan. I enjoy watching both League and Union. And the best thing about them both is they aint soccer!

  2. Thats just wrong.

    Originally Rugby Union and Rugby League were the same game. Rugby League was a professional sport while Rugby Union remained an amateur sport.

    Because Rugby League had the financial pressure that any professional sport faces, they were open to looking at ways to improve the game. Over time Rugby League rules evolved into the game you see today.

    Its pretty clear when you look at how Rugby League players completely dominate Rugby Union when they switch codes that Rugby League produces better players, more skilled players, better athletes and bigger stars overall.

    As for watching the sports, it isn’t even a contest. Rugby Unions best game doesn’t get close to Rugby League worst game.

  3. Hahaha good on ya league freak!! Union bores me so much i fall into a deep sleep, i watch and play league all the time, so much better!! 😉

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