Dear Sir/Madam,
In response to our clubs recent performances, I am writing to you to express my (immense dis-satisfaction / undying devotion and thanks) for when it comes to my ongoing support of this club.
Last nights game of football was (the most diabolical 80-minute performance / the most scintillating exhibition by our squad) I have ever seen in all my life.
It is clear to me that our coaches are the most (useless bunch of brain-dead morons / sought after visionaries) within the whole code.
Special mention must be made to the backs who (could not create a try if it came with a million dollar gold nugget attached / are clearly the creative stand outs in a talented nucleus of future stars).
And lets not forget our forwards who are (ineffective to the point of needing desperate replacement / competition powerhouses that lead by example and blitz the opposition).
I have made up my mind and need no more convincing. Over the coming weeks I will (no longer bother watching these hapless morons / continue to enjoy watching our next crop of premiership contenders)
From the top of the boardroom, down to the fitness staff you should all be (summarily dismissed from duties / warmly congratulated).
And âĤ (all my friends think the same / all my friends think the same).
Kind Regards
Every rugby league fan, ever.
